Talking is the most important sex skill

One of the keys to good sex is the ability to communicate what you want and what you like, and the ability to listen to your partners. Talking gives the opportunity to reach a mutual understanding, negotiate consent, ease anxiety and uncertainty, and solve problems. 

Talking about sex is particularly valuable in the beginning of a relationship, when you are getting to know each other, but talking has great benefits also in other situations in the course of a relationship. It would be ideal to make talking about sex into a routine in a relationship. It is easier to take up any arising concerns or share one’s wishes if talking is a regular part of everyday life in a relationship. This lowers the threshold for communication.  

If talking about sex with a partner feels difficult at first, you can start by writing down your thoughts, or making a list of questions that everyone answers by themselves at first. Instead of diving right in, it might be easier to start talking after some concrete questions and some time to think about them.

About the artist

Miia Vistilä is known for the Rakkaat siskot comics trilogy. Find Vistilä’s newer work on Instagram: @mvistila.