Revealing Your Crush

A crush can surprise you anytime. It can feel wonderful, scary and exciting all at the same time, and pondering it can  take a big chunk of one’s day. Dating usually begins with telling the other person how you feel. These situations may feel intimidating, because you cannot be sure about the other person’s feelings beforehand.

Almost everyone feels nervous in situations where they have to make the first move and tell the other person how they feel. Even if there is a risk of disappointment, having a conversation with the object of the crush is the only way to find out whether the feeling is mutual.

Getting to know someone is a voyage of discovery

In the beginning of a relationship, both parties are finding out whether they are interested in the other person. Sometimes the crush is mutual, but other times the relationship does not really even begin. It may end, because the other person does not want to continue it. Sometimes the other may enjoy doing things together, but wants to stay friends, for example.

The myth about ”the one” who is right for you may cause unnecessary anxiety when forming relationships. As a result, you may place a lot of expectations and hopes on one person, although in reality you may come across many potential partners along the years. It is easier to form relationships, when your own expectations or mental images about the potential partner are not too limiting. Then you can meet people more freely and explore, whether they would match you or not.

f you want to get to know someone, approach the matter by thinking about the things that you find interesting in that person. Start the conversation with a topic that is familiar to you and gradually begin to talk about your personal feelings. If the other person returns your feelings, you can later compliment the person on a characteristic that you find sexually attractive or that you admire, for example.

You can say for example:

• I like you and I enjoy being with you.
• You are really lovely, I would like to get to know you better/more intimately.
• It would be nice to be close to you.
• Can I kiss/touch you?

If the other person does not return your feelings

There is nothing wrong with you, if the other person does not return your feelings.  Almost all people have been rejected in their relationships at some point in life. People’s feelings, desires and wishes do not always match. You may also find yourself in a situation where someone says that they have a crush on you. You should tell the person frankly if you are not interested, but you should express yourself kindly and politely, without hurting the person’s feelings.

• Believe what the person says to you about their feelings.
• Do not reflect too long on what you could do differently or how you could change the other person’s mind.
• Although rejection may feel devastating, the situation gets easier with time. You have the right to feel sad and seek help if the grief feels overwhelming