Communicating clearly is always preferable. No-one is a mindreader.

Proposing sex is often done without speaking directly about sex. You can ask, for instance, ”Can I come and sleep next to you tonight?” However, this can easily cause misunderstandings. Therefore, you should speak directly about your wishes concerning sex, but also so that the other person gets the chance to describe their wishes.

Before proposing sex, you should consider whether the situation is appropriate. Proposing sex is always an intimate thing and may come as a surprise to the other person. So you should choose a place where you can discuss it privately.

How to Approach?

If you are planning to propose sex to someone, it will pay off  to think about how to initiate the conversation. People often like to talk about themselves and what they are interested in. If the person does not make any contact with you or continue the conversation with you, they are probably not interested in having sex with you either.


Let the other person know what you like about them!

People also communicate non-verbally using gestures and expressions. This skill may be useful during sex and when proposing sex. Sex can be non-verbally proposed in a situation where you are physically close to another person, for example by caressing or touching them. If touching feels good to both of you, you can proceed by guiding your partner’s hand to an area where you want to be touched. But remember to take it slowly at first, so that the other person has a chance to respond to your touch however they want to.

You Always Have the Right to Change Your Mind

Sometimes after you have proposed sex or agreed to it, the decision no longer feels good and you may want to stop in the middle. Your partner also has the right to decide in the middle of sex that they don’t want to continue. This decision must always be respected.